7/11/2023

It is natural that we find joy in eating. I suggest we embrace this joy. Supplying our body with good tasting things is one of the good things in life. And yes, this includes cake, chocolate, wine, and all kinds of high calorie junk food. It is so hard to “diet” because it is profoundly unnatural.

We need food. The best bet for survival throughout human history has always been to have feasts in times of abundance and to be willing to eat what is in front of you. The picky eaters were the ones who would have been at serious risk. Frankly, I think we should abandon the project of trying to overcome millions of years of instinct and we should embrace emotional eating.

And yet, don’t we have a problem in modern day America? How should we handle the obesity epidemic? So many suffer, and we can’t just ignore this. Clearly our living conditions are different than they’ve been throughout the majority of human history. We simply can’t eat with abandon.

The opposite of dieting is not binging. Both of these tend to be individualistic experiences. Thankfully, eating does not have to be characterized by these two extremes.  

When I visited Mongolia in 2016. I was only there briefly, but I had the opportunity to reflect on eating practices that were far more communal than I was used to. Mongolia is still predominantly nomadic. Even in Ulaanbataar, the largest city, many extended family units still lived in gers, and they only lived there part of the year.In gers food is shared. An excess of food is an excess for everyone. A deficit is a deficit for everyone. Visitors are coming over? Travelers you’ve never met before? They will share dinner with you. Are you traveling to a far away place where you don’t know anyone? No worries, the locals will invite you in for dinner. You will eat whatever they are eating, which might be stir fry, cheese, and milk. In Ulaanbataar, there was a small number of Mongolian restaurants, but they did not serve single meals for single people. They only served large family meals. It was not expected that you’d be eating alone.

I think the togetherness of eating is what is missing in America today. There are fewer negotiations like: “I’ll eat your peas if you eat my potatoes” because people aren’t together and aren’t eating the same thing. Each person can eat their very own variety of microwave dinner. In large swaths of America, solo snacking is near universal. You don’t have to sneak a cookie out of a cookie jar. No one will be there to witness or object. There is less oversight. There is less nagging about poor food choices. And let’s face it: the nagging of loved ones keeps us healthy. If our goal is to be healthy, we should strive to eat under the watchful eye of friend who will keep us accountable.  

In previous generations, putting dinner on the table WAS the work people did. Eating with your family or community was the culmination of the day. It was the highlight. It was the point when you can relax and enjoy. Now people eat quickly in their cars or next to their computers. The goal seems to be to intake fuel without interrupting what is now considered work.

Not only are people eating less with their families, they also spend less time eating with their friends. (Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert D. Putnam talks about this). I can see this in the teen population today. Teens go out to eat at restaurants by themselves now. Just twenty years ago, when I was a teen, this was virtually unheard of. Infrequently we might have gone out to eat fast food. Even then, we went together. It was a communal decision, something that helped us get to know each other better. It was shared.

Enjoy your food. I suggest you positively relish the smells and tastes. Enjoy the feeling of satisfaction. But share the good things in life with the ones you love. Share them with neighbors. Maybe you could even share them with strangers. As you eat, look out for their well-being and let them look out for yours.